Breast cancer survivor
I have a breast cancer patient who's not very happy with how her breasts look after all the treatment she's gotten. She's had reconstructive surgery with implants, but the results are not great.
What can you say? I was happy she was still with us after what she's been through, but I couldn't honestly look her in the eye and say everything looked normal.
So blame society. Mardi Gras. Topless beaches. Playboy. HBO. Breasts are attractive.
I think part of the struggle with cancer, even good-prognosis cancer, is that it leaves people at something less than 100% of what they were before. Also, some people never really wanted to have to contemplate their mortality, but were forced to anyway. And now that the journey got less complicated after treatment is over, the knowledge that they are lucky to have danced with cancer and lived is often balanced by some sort of physical reminder of their ordeal.
Maybe that's the real problem--the physical reminder. Maybe she doesn't want her old body back, but she doesn't want to have to think about having had breast cancer everytime she looks in the mirror.
So maybe the response is, "I can understand it must be hard being reminded about your cancer when you look in the mirror." She's angry about having had cancer, and I can't really make her not angry anymore, but I can show I care.
posted by Michael Benjamin @ 2:17 PM
2 Comments:
Give it a try with your patient:
"You must be proud to be aware that you are victorious of this battle each time you look in the mirror. Knowing that many people respect your courage and would like to have as much if someday they have to face illness of any kind".
Cancer is probably best thought of as not a battle with winners and losers, but as a journey, with side tracks, obstacles, and peaceful places. There was a nice piece I think in JCO recently about this--I'll try to dig it up.
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